You get this far through life and it's clear that others have done it, are doing it, and will continue to do it, so much better. Less alcohol, sure, and more money, by which I also mean more focus and effort and drive from even a young age.

Or more luck, of course, in all kinds of ways, but let’s not forgot the efforts of that kid in class with straight As, still acing the tests in middle age. Doing the work, getting things done, while we spend the days in stupor or sloth, tripping in and out of life, exploring other paths.

There's nothing to be done, nothing that could have been done, or will be done, to escape the reality tunnel I'm stuck in, except to change my mind and become another person.