I was repressed, by myself and the systems in which I was enmeshed, and so my main aim as a young and youngish man, teens to 30s, was to escape, a process that required a number of deaths on my part, the shedding of skin, the zombie-self stuttering and shuddering on three continents, until I emerged self-made from broken parts and molded by experience, the world having moved on without any great need for my services.

I'd squandered my limited promise on getting ready for a stupid party that was already over, and turned to face new challenges I was wholly ill-prepared for.